Tuesday, January 11, 2011

PET Scan Result and A "Word".

Just received the call from my doctors office....PET Scan is CLEAR..."No evidence of recurrent or metastatic disease." Yeah!!! God is so good to me!!!!
Also, in a previous post I wrote of my sister's idea of praying and choosing a word to hold onto for the year, instead of making the typical new years resolutions. The word the Lord has laid on my heart, that I am going to try to hold fast to in my life this coming year is "Trust". Sometimes, as in the last twenty fours hours, instead of having "trust" that the Lord's will will be done and above all, His will will be the best for me, I have found myself letting my mind wonder and dwelling on my own imaginings. I have found myself, in hindsight, wasting so much time thinking of all the possible outcomes to my tests and even thinking of my possible reactions, emotions and dealings to those, at that point, fictional outcomes!!! When I know I should turn it over to the Lord and have the trust needed to know He is in control. I say and I do trust God. But when I stop and think of how many times instead of immediately trusting in Him, I worry, wonder, and ponder my own versions of things, I realize my trust may not always be up to par and on the level it should be. So trust is my word for this year. A friend, Helen Edwards, has written on her blog, www.completely7.blogspot.com, that she has chosen to choose a word also. Her word is "willing". I received a blessing reading her post and then thinking on that little word "willing". As in Trust, "Willing" is also a small word with big implications and meaning. We say we trust and we say we are willing, but I am not so sure, after giving it much thought, that I am immediately as trusting or as willing as I like to think I am.
Anyway I guess my "words" are a lot of rambling today!!!LOL!!! Time to get busy. Once again THANK-You for the prayers on my behalf. Once again God's grace and mercy has been incredible in my life!!!!

Snow!!!!

We have had several snows already this winter, but we woke up yesterday to the biggest one this year. We probably have 4-6 inches and it is still snowing off and on here today. I had my PET Scan scheduled for yesterday and was surprised when I called and found they were open for business!!! It took us two hours to make the usual 50 minute to one hour trip. We had to be there at 9:30 am so even the interstate was still treacherous at that early hour. Wendell text my doctor and was able to get us in yesterday after the scan instead of having to make the trip again today, as was previously scheduled. He did not have the results so soon though, and is suppose to call us today with the results. I have to admit it is a little nerve racking waiting to hear. Different doctors say different things. Dr. Netterville said he hopes to never see me again and does not seem to think I should have any more problems. (I sometimes feel he is too optimistic and will not talk about anything even slightly pessimistic.) Dr. Boppanna talked about how well I am doing considering my cancer can be very aggressive and unpredictable. So, It is hard to know what to think sometimes!!! LOL!!! I know what I should be thinking is to TRUST!!!! Anyway I will post the results here when he calls.

I have not snow sled in approximately ten or so years. My last experience at snow sledding was quite comical and very painful. I promise this is a true story!!! It had came a big snow several years ago, the first one for us since we had moved to the mountain. We were all excited about our first snow sledding experience here. We got all bundled up and headed out to one of the biggest hills back behind the house. Everyone else had took their turn going down and it was finally my turn!!! Yeah!!! I was given a big, hard push and off I went flying down the hill, screaming all the way. All was well until about half way down when I lost control, went flying off the sled, and bounced off a frozen cow patty!!! Who knew how hard a cow patty could get in below freezing temperatures!!! It had broke my tail bone!!! OUCH!!!! I actually went to the doctor, had x-rays and it was clearly visible the damage I had done. That was my last sledding experience until yesterday when I just couldn't help myself and I had to try it again. I am happy to announce all went well and no one was injured, although Dylan, Kiah's boyfriend, seemed to
try really hard to do great bodily harm to himself, but was fortunately unsuccessful!!!!

Me preparing for my first "run"!!!!



Me going off into the night!!!



Michael and Stephanie, truly excited about their upcoming trip!!!


Wendell and Dylan, no broken bones!!!!

Jess, Me and Punky ready to ride!!!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

"Places"

Over the last two years I have been many places. As 2010 drew to a close, it for me, became a time of reflection. I have thought long and hard over the many places I have been. Of all my years on this earth I feel I have "travelled" the farthest over the last two years. It has been a long journey but one where if it were in my control I would have only changed one thing, the loss of my Mother. I truly believe God has a reason for everything He allows to come into our lives. I believe there are lessons to be learned through each experience. I know I am far from the best student but have prayed throughout this journey that the Lord would help my eyes to be open to see what it is He has for me to learn. I have a great desire to know and understand His divine purpose for me in this life.

The "places" I have traveled have not all been vacation worthy!!! heehee!!! Some roads I would just have assumed to have taken a detour, if left to my own devices. I am thankful however that my life is not in my own control but in the control of an Omnipotent, loving, and above all, merciful God.

Over the last two years my "travels" have taken me to....

A place of physical pain. a place where my jaws hurt, my teeth hurt, my ears hurt, pretty much every bone in my body hurts. a place of pharmacies and pain medications. a place of antibiotics and toxic radiation and chemotherapy. a place of too many hospitals and dr. offices. a place of endless phone calls and waiting. a place of records and tests and pathology reports. a place of operating rooms and intensive care units, ambulances and back seat truck rides. a place of feeling as close to death as possible but not actually crossing over. a place of total and complete fatigue. a place of hair loss, weight loss and total self esteem loss. a place of thirst and hunger. a place of prosthetic devices and life supporting equipment. a place of oxygen and suction devices. a place of tracheotomy's and suffocation. a place of scalpels and scars. a place of needles and knives. a place of letting go. a place of great mourning. a place of loss. a place of tears. a place of heartache.

But also a place ......
A place filled with family, friends and acquaintances, new and old. A place filled with stillness and silence. A place filled with prayer and meditation. A place filled with reflection and understanding. A place of feeling safe. A place filled with hugs and best wishes. A place filled with love and compassion, trust and faith. A place filled with new understanding and outlook. A place filled with joy and laughter, smiles and sparkle. A place filled with undeserved compassion and kindness. A place filled with hope and immeasurable peace. A place filled with grace and great mercies. A place filled with the love of a mighty God.

I have been a lot of places over the past two years. I know I am far from being alone in travels. So many of us, it seems, have faced some of the most difficult times in our lives over the past year or two. I don't know why it seems we all have faced more than we ever have before. The heartbreak has been real and great. Through it all I know most of you that follow along here have a strong faith in God. Isn't it wonderful that we have Him to lean on and direct our walk. What would we have done without Him? If God is for us who can be against us?

I started thinking about the things I have written in this post after a talk with my sister, Teresa. She was telling me how she has never been one to make New Years Resolutions, but has, in the past few years, prayed about and then chose a word to be "her word" throughout the new year. She told me how that word would become ever present and important in her life throughout the year. I hope she don't mind me sharing, but it was a blessing to me and I feel one that needs to be shared and will be a blessing to others. Her word last year was "Trust". Of course we have talked and grown close over this past year and knowing her trials I know how prominent this little word, with such great connotation, has been in her life over the last 365 days!!!! I am now praying about my "word" for this year.

As I have said I know I am not alone in my "travels" these past few years. I would love to hear from others, your thoughts on the "places" you have been. If you write it on your blog, leave me a link in my comments and I'll certainly drop by. If you don't have a blog leave your "places" in my comment section where we can all read and receive a blessing from them, or e-mail them to me. I would love hearing your thoughts on the "places" you have been. It's as if we are all very different people but face so many of the same joys and sorrows. You may just have one word or two to sum up your "places" or like me you may have many. Also if you decide to pray and choose a word, let us know I will definitely post one here for myself after praying about it. As in the title of this blog, Grace has definitely been my word for the last two years. God's grace has been ever present and sufficient for me!!!!