Friday, September 2, 2011

Just Lazy...

No, I haven't died or experienced anything too physically dramatic in the last month or so....just lazy, I guess, when it comes to updating this blog!!!! I have however had many thoughts that I wanted to "air out" here, but just haven't took the time to begin typing.

Physically, I am about the same...I wake up with my bones and joints stiff and hurting. I get up some mornings at 4 or 5 a.m. to take a hot shower to relieve the discomfort until my medication takes effect. I have days where I spend the whole day freezing but sweating profusely, those days I am pretty miserable. I still run a low grade fever from time to time, for no explained reason. My swallowing has seemed to have slightly improved over the last few months. I am able to swallow some breads now where I wasn't previously able to. Yeah!!! I love and had missed eating bread!!!! My face and ears still hurt some days more than others, I have begun to think that may be related to how much I talk on any given day!!! The chronic fatigue is my biggest complaint. I just have no energy most days, where as pre-cancer, I could have worked circles around a much younger person, now I feel like a thirtyish, (heehee), woman trapped in an 85 year olds body, that becomes disheartening on some days when my mind is working harder than my body can even think about!!!

I would like to be able to blog that my life feels like all sun and roses since my cancer is in remission right now, but if I am to be honest, that is just not the case. Several things have transpired over the last year or so that have been less than joy evoking. A lot of circumstances have changed that have left me feeling a little lost some days. I plan on blogging about them, it's just hard to find the time to start and when I do the fatigue sets in and I find it hard to keep my eyes open long enough to write much. But anyway... for now....lifes' happening that is forefront on my mind...

My aunt, Sue Coffey, my dad's younger sister, lost her ten year battle with cancer last week. She travelled home to be with the Lord on August 25, 2011. She had courageously battled cancer for ten years. Having cancer is an awful, awful, experience, but Sue didn't just battle one cancer she had went to war with three different kinds and then on top of all those she developed Pulmonary Fibrosis. My Grandmother, Sue's Mother, had Pulmonary Fibrosis which is a lung disease that causes hardening of the lungs. One would think since Sue and her mother both had it, it would be hereditary, but that was not so in their case. Sue developed Pulmonary Fibrosis after having undergone so many different, large doses of chemo therapy. We had celebrated Sue's 67th birthday in May. I had traveled to South Carolina twice in the last month or so to visit with her. She ended up in the hospital both times. Her attitude, even on her death bed, astounded me. She wanted desperately to get better and live to see her precious grand sons graduate from high school. But she knew at the end that that was not going to be the Lord's plan for her. She laid in her hospital bed struggling to breath enough to speak with all of us gathered around her bed side. I watched and listened as God provided the Grace she needed to endure until her walk here was complete. A young preacher boy named Austin came to visit her one day while I was standing by her bed feeding her ice chips. It was all I could do to keep myself together as she told him I was the one he and their church had prayed for for so long. She struggled to breath as she told him how very sick I had been and how it was a miracle I was still here and how God had been so good to me. Then she started bragging on the goodness of God in her life!!! It was such a tremendous blessing to listen to her, as she laid there struggling and pausing frequently to catch her breath, praising and worshipping her God!!!! She told Austin how she had never been sick one time from any of the many chemos she had had to take. She bragged repeatedly on the goodness of God in her life. What a testimony she had!!! After all she had gone through, she had kept the faith through it all. What an inspiration she was to me!!! Through it all she had never became bitter at God, or life, or the circumstances she was living in...instead she kept her focus and continually praised God for His grace and goodness to her!!! Everyone, I had the pleasure of meeting while there, talked about what a Christian my Aunt Sue was, how she lived by the principles of the Bible for as long as they had known her. How, through the good and the bad, she praised and honored God. I wasn't there when she told those in the room to tell my dad she loved him and she would tell Pat, (my Mom), hello for him when she got there. I can only imagine that reunion. Sue's husband Jack, passed away in 2001 as the result of cancer, a brain tumor. Her sister Barbara's husband, Liege Roberts, passed away in 1998 as a result of colon and then brain cancer, Sue's Mother, and my grand mother, Roxie Hurst, passed away 4 or 5 days after Liege in 1998 as a result of pulmonary fibrosis and then colon cancer, Sue's father and my grandfather, Luster "Buckeye" Hurst, passed away in 2000 as the result of a stroke, and then my Mother, Sue's sister in law, Patricia Hurst, passed away in 2009 as a result of a brain aneurysm. What a reunion it must have been on August 25th as Sue entered the gates of heaven. I believe they were all there anticipating her arrival. Although she will be greatly missed here, she was reunited with so many of our loved ones who have already made the journey!!! What a day of rejoicing that must have been for them!!! How could we possibly overcome the grief that accompanies the death of our loved ones without the sweet, precious, promise that those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and saviour will eventually be reunited to spend eternity together in the presence of an almighty, loving, gracious God!!!
How good He is!!!!

Please help me pray for Sue's children and grand children they loved her dearly and will miss her greatly. They spent many, many days and hours caring for and taking care of her every need. I know it will be hard for them to suddenly not have those things filling their days and nights. It was a precious thing to witness the love she poured out on them and the great love and afffection they returned to her.


Anonymous said...

Debbie! I'm glad you are back! I always like to get on here and read what you have to say. So sorry to hear about your aunt. We miss you guys and think about you a lot. Just wanted to say I've missed you blogging. :0) Love ya!!! ~Jen~

Debbie said...

Thanks Jen!!! I miss seeing you guys :(

Karen Crabtree said...

I have been checking your blog and was surprised to see you had blogged.
You are not lazy, that's for sure!!
Sorry you all lost your Aunt Sue. I know it was a great loss for your Dad to lose his sister. it is so hard to lose family.
So glad you have been doing so well. Even though I know you don't feel as good as you once did. So happy you are still here. You look really great!!