A Day To Reflect.

Today's date, September 23rd, is a significant date in my life.

Twenty one years ago today, Wendell and I were married, in a rather small ceremony at my Mom and Dad's house. Josh, 9 years old at the time, gave me away, not so happily!!! He loved Wendell, but was not happy about us going away for our honeymoon without him!!! We ended up only spending two nights away because he wanted us home. We didn't mind, we missed him and Stephanie too. Stephanie was six years old at the time. She loved Wendell and called him her "hummy bunch". I think she secretly dreamed of marrying him herself, back then, although she WOULD NEVER admit it now!!!! Now... Josh is thirty years old and Stephanie is twenty seven....and of course Wendell has gotten older too!!!LOL!!!! Where did all the time go.... every time we are all together we spend hours reminiscing about their childhood. (Sorry Misty and Michael :( I know our stories must have gotten boring after about the hundred time!!!) We never had a lot of money or material things, Wendell and I worked a lot of long, hard hours, but our house was filled with a lot of laughter. We spent time together...going to amusement parks...water parks...state parks.. and just spent time being together....playing whiffle ball or kick ball in the front yard. Then Punky and Kiah came along and from that moment on there has never been a dull moment in our home!!!!

September 23, one year ago, was the day I had my last radiation treatment. I remember that last week of radiation more than any of the 37 treatments. Wendell had drove me the 70 something mile, round trip to Knoxville, five days a week, for seven and a half weeks. I was physically at the lowest point I had ever been in and hope to ever be in again. I remember being so weak and frail that I had a hard time even vocalizing a prayer. At one point I didn't think I could go on and finish the treatments. My mouth was full of blisters, I couldn't eat and could barely drink, I had lost over fifty pounds. Once again I had turned to those that had kept up with my journey via this blog and had asked for prayer. Once again the Lord's grace was sufficient and I was able to finish the treatments. It's sometimes hard to believe it has been one year ago today!!! I am still feeling the physical effects from the cancer. I have jaw pain, mouth pain, ear infections, tooth aches, and pretty bad bone pain. My diet consists of soft moist foods, my swallowing, I have come to terms with, will never be normal again. My mouth will open about a half inch. My speech is abnormal and can be quite comical at times!!! New acquaintances think I am either mental, deaf, or from a foreign country!!!! There are several words best left unsaid by me!!! The girls, if I'm ordering at a drive thru, no longer ask for cheese sticks!!!!

As I reflect back over the memorable September 23rds in my life, I wouldn't change them if I could. The Lord has taught me soooo much. I am so thankful for the life he has given me and has allowed me to live thus far. Wendell and my marriage has not always been a bed of roses, there were times I didn't know if we would make it or not. But God's grace in our marriage has been sufficient. With His Help, Grace, Mercy and Guidance we have spent twenty one years together. I love him even more on this September 23rd than I did on the September 23rd twenty one years ago!!! And, like my marriage, this cancer journey has not been a bed of roses either!!!LOL!!! But with God's Help, Grace, Mercy, Guidance, and Your Prayers, I am ECSTATIC to be here to celebrate this September 23, 2010!!!! God Is Good!!!!

Preacher Mason Goodman, Me, Wendell, Steph & Josh.

Punky & Kiah LOVE my fashion sense!!!!

My Granny Roxie, My sisters Teresa & Kim, Me, Wendell, My Mom & Dad, Teresa's happy son Aaron, Teresa's Daughter Rachel, Stephanie, & my happy son Josh!!!

Wendell's sister-in-law Becky, His sister Pam, His sister Tiny and Scott, His Dad, His brother Tim, Wendell & I, His sister Donna, His Mom, Becky's daughter Ashley and son Rex.

Happy Birthday Mom.

Mikiah Is Still Seeing 20/20!!!!

I was just sitting here thinking of all God's blessings on my family. I can never thank Him enough for the life He has given to us. No our lives have not been a bed of roses, so to speak, but through the good times and the bad we have had Him to turn to.
August 2008, I think the date was the 4th, on a Sunday night, I saw Kiah having Bryon put eye drops in her eye. When I questioned her about it she said her eye was blurry. Kiah has allergies so we thought it probably had something to do with that. Two nights later she came in the living room and told me her eye was still blurry and the wall looked wavy. Needless to say that scared me to death, although I tried not to let her know. I called Carolee and she got us in with one of the eye doctors she works for, first thing the next morning. I don't think I slept at all that night, being the optimist I am, not, all I could think of was a brain tumor pressing on the optic nerve. As soon as Dr. Mende checked Kiah she had a diagnosis, Histoplasmosis. I had heard this word before because Stephanie had came home from an eye exam several months prior and told me Dr. Mende asked if she knew she had it. Stephanie did not know. Dr. Mende had told Stephanie at that time it was dormant and was just something to keep an eye on (haha no pun intended). Anyway, she sent us directly from her office to a retina specialist in Knoxville where we spent the rest of that day having tests done on Kiah's left eye. To make a long story a little shorter...Histoplasmosis is a very serious disease. Kiah went from having 20/20 vision in her left eye, to off the charts, over 20/400 in a matter of days. People go blind from this disease. It causes bleeding on the retina, when they are able to stop the bleeding the patient is left with scars which cause the blind spots. It is not curable and can happen at any time. I have since learnt that we live, here in the south, in what is known as the Histo belt. Histoplasmosis is caused by chicken and bat droppings. The fungus is in the air. If we were all tested for it most of us would test positive for it, but it remains dormant in most people, they do not know why it becomes active in some. When it does become active it is usually in some one a lot older than Kiah. The doctors were shocked that she had it at such a young age. We had people everywhere praying for Kiah. She had a laser surgery which made her vision worse not better. Finally after much research and changing doctors, Kiah was given three injections, one a month for three months, in her eye. She was just 15 years old at the time. She was wide awake for the injections. Can you imagine having your eye held open with a clamp and watching as a needle is fixing to be stuck in it? It was a very traumatic experience for her and I. It is something that I pray she never has to endure again. It was all I could do to hold it together each time until we got back home and I could go "loose it" privately. Everyone we know, and people we didn't know, were praying for her. When all was said and done she was left with what is virtually unheard of ... 20/20 vision in that eye!!! She has a blind spot and has to adjust the way she uses that eye when reading but she has her vision!!!! The Dr. was left amazed by her, we were left amazed at God's grace and power!!! I am thinking of this now because....She had her last injection in October 2008. The last time she saw the specialist we made a follow up appointment for three months later but had to cancel because she was playing basketball at that time and had an away game on that day. We were suppose to reschedule but then I got my diagnosis and we started my battle. Of course I asked her constantly about her vision and she would say it seemed the same. Anyway, we finally went for a checkup this past Friday. Her vision is still 20/20, even though she has to look "around" the scar. Dr. Miller was amazed that she has done so well for two years now. I just want to give God the praise and glory. I know He hears and answers prayer!!!! He has proven that to my family time and time again. I thank Him for His precious grace that is still sufficient. Please, when you think of it from time to time, say a little prayer for Kiah and that if it is God's will this disease will continue to amaze the Doctor by remaining dormant in Kiah!!!
Tomorrow's the last holiday of the summer!!! I hope everyone has a great Labor Day!!!

So Much To Thank Him For!!!!

Wow, It's hard to believe school is already starting again. Summer vacation is officially over. Sad face. I LOVE spring and summer. Smiley face. The hotter the better. I love waking up in the morning, opening the blinds and doors and filling the house with sunshine. It literally seems to warm my heart and soul!!!! I love letting the kids stay up half the night, with their best friends, raiding the kitchen and giggling. I love allowing them to sleep late and waking them at a not so early hour to put their swim suits on and join me at our pool to spend hours just laying around sunning, talking and enjoying each others company. I love having them come in at curfew and climbing onto my bed and telling me all about their evening and the fun they had!!! We have spent soooo many lazy days this summer just enjoying life together!!!!! We were able to take our annual trip to the beach in Destin, Florida and to go on our annual camping trip to Lazy Daze in Townsend. I have loved being able to take walks, late in the evenings, with Wendell. It has been a special time for us just to slow down, talk and reconnect. Call it selfish, but I honestly felt it was ok for us (the girls and I, it's hard to get Wendell to slow down much), to be somewhat lazy this summer, considering last summer. Don't get me wrong we worked some too, and even the work has been fun. We shucked, silked, cut off, cooked, bagged and froze over 24 dozen ears of corn, (The girls didn't complain while doing the corn, they joked and made it a fun process. You see, last year my wonderful Mother in-law gave Wendell every bag of corn she had worked so hard over the summer before to put up, to cook for me. I honestly don't know how I would have survived without it. Her precious corn and his mashed potatoes were what kept me going during my radiation treatments when swallowing was an almost impossible feat!!! It is still my meal of choice, easy to swallow and delicious!!! The girls know this and I believe, is why they were willing to do this job so enthusiastically!!!! Sentimental, teary eyed face. ) We also strung, broke and canned 27 jars of beans, picked, bagged and froze 2 gallons of blueberries. The girls helped their dad with the yard work and Punky has worked quite a few hours at the store. But I guess if you put it all in a balance the fun definitely outweighed the work this summer!!!! The Lord sure has been good to our family!!!! Happy, Thankful face.

A True Inspiration To Me

A few years ago I was working at the store when a lady came in that I had gotten acquainted with through her frequent visits to our store and through her husband who worked for my father in-law digging graves. She was always upbeat, energetic, and friendly. She would usually stop in on her way to work. She worked as a nurse in the emergency room at Harriman Hospital. On this particular day Wendell was asking her about the news we had heard. She had been diagnosed with cancer. Lung cancer. As I stood there listening to her answer his questions, I will never forget how profoundly her attitude and demeanor affected me. I stood there listening to her, in awe of her attitude. She still had that same familiar smile on her face as she talked. I remember thinking... she is about my same age....how in the world is she still functioning, not just functioning, but smiling. Smiling as she spoke of, what to me, sounded like a death sentence. I remember thinking she is my age...that could very easily be me...how would I function. I was sure I would not. I was sure I would go home, climb in bed, pull the covers over my head, cry uncontrollably and enter into a deep dark depression. Since that time I had the privilege of becoming better acquainted with her. Bonnita Patterson. I would ask about her, every time anyone came in that would know her condition, as she went through her treatments. I prayed for her. There were times she was deathly sick and I wouldn't see her for a period of time and then there were times when you would never know anything was physically wrong with her. But no matter her condition, every time I saw her she was still upbeat and smiling. I never heard her complain. She was always telling me how the doctors were amazed by her and how she knew the Lord was keeping her around for a reason, still smiling as she talked. When I was diagnosed I could hardly get her to tell me what was going on with her, she was to concerned with finding out how I was doing. She sent me cards and books she knew would be a help to me. She even came to the house to visit me when I was going through my treatments. There was a time, after being discharged from Vanderbilt, after one of my surgeries, that I was in an extremely bad condition. Wendell had called to ask her advice, and she insisted on coming and stayed for hours using her nursing skills to help me. She was such an inspiration to me. I am still in awe of the attitude and spirit she displayed over the last few years. She had a beautiful heart. Sadly she passed away this past week. My heart is grieved. She will be greatly missed. She was an inspiration to me. As I listened, as Wendell was given the honor of reading her obituary at her funeral, I realized just how close to my age she actually was. We both just celebrated a birthday. Mine on August 7 and hers on August 8. She was one year and one day younger than me. My heart goes out to her husband, children, wonderful family and her many friends. Even though we are grieved, I am thankful that we can find comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain, but is truly LIVING in the presence of the Lord.

Back From Knoxville

We just got back from Knoxville it's been a long day. We went for the PET Scan at 10:30 this morning it takes 2 hours for the whole process. Since my appointment with Dr. Boppanna is fairly early in the morning they gave me a disk of the CT scan to take with me in case they were unable to get it to him in time for my appointment, the PET Scan he is able to view and read over the Internet. I have felt pretty ill today from having to drink the contrast last night and another large bottle this morning. It leaves me feeling pretty yucky!!!! I can't eat after midnight the day before my scan so I was also pretty hungry when we got out. We went to have lunch and then to Sam's to pick up some things for the store and house. In Sam's Wendell turned to me and said he had a confession to make. Thinking, oh goodness, what has he done, I said ok, what? He told me to put on my glasses and then he showed me a text message from Dr. Boppanna. Apparently Wendell has been worried and didn't want to have to wait until tomorrow to find out the results, so he had text Dr. Boppanna this morning and asked him to review it today. The text said "Good News Clean PET Scan"!!!!! I couldn't hold back a few tears right there in the middle of Sam's. The tears were partly thankfulness over the good result and partly because I had no idea Wendell was that worried. I couldn't help but feel sad that he has had to endure so much with me over the past year and has had a front row seat on this emotional roller coaster that we have been riding. He has never complained even one time over having to do any of this with me. He has been by my side for every appointment, every trip to Nashville. He has sat for days in the hospital with me even through what was suppose to be his vacations and has never complained once. Wow, what did I ever do to deserve such love and devotion? He is my Knight in Shining Amour!!!!

Third PET Scan

I just got through drinking what seems like a five gallon bucket of "contrast" in preperation for my PET Scan scheduled for tomorrow morning. This will be my third one, it has been a little more than nine months since my treatments ended!!! Yeah!!! Dr. Boppanna says the first year is critical. I have to admit I get a little uneasy at these times, I wonder if it will ever get easier or if I will always feel this way. Thankfully I go Friday morning to get the results. I'll let you know what happens!!!