Sunday, April 17, 2011

Loss Of Vanity And God

Have you ever Known the Lord had definitely sent someone into your life? There are so many things I want to say here about an experience I had this weekend. There are things I want to say leading up to this amazing experience in my life but I am somehow feeling as if it will take too long to say it all. But there is a part of me that feels as if I have to try.

First of all I want to ask you to pray for a situation that has effected our lives over the last few weeks, that I know is best left unspoken at this time. It is a situation that has brought many tears the last couple of weeks and that leaves me so sad every time I think about it. Please help Wendell and I pray that the Lord will intervene and His will will be done in this situation.

Now back to my original thought.... A while back I began to think on one of the aspects of my cancer journey...loosing my hair. I began to think a little deeper on this subject. I know the Lord is in control of everything that happens in our lives. He may not order everything that happens to us, but He certainly allows it. Just as I believe He has allowed cancer to come into my life. I was taking a shower one morning after my hair had began to grow back and I started to think about how as woman our hair is very important to us. I began to think about how God has gave man the ability to come up with the treatments to fight cancer and give us a chance at achieving remission from this sinister disease. I thought about how an all knowing God, gave man the mind and ability to come up with the drugs to fight cancer. God knew, before man, what the side effects of these drugs would be. One of the main, well known, side effects of Chemo is hair loss. Our hair, especially as woman, is our vanity. Cancer strips you of your vanity. I began to wonder that day why of all the side effects that could come from the drugs developed to fight cancer, was the main one hair loss. Why is the most noticeable effect of anyone battling cancer the loss of their hair...thus the loss of vanity? Does God have a specific purpose in this? I don't know, I'm just asking.

Wendell and I went to our favorite candle lite restaurant this past Saturday night. After we were seated, teenagers dressed for prom began to come in and sit in the tables in front of us. We were in a booth against the wall so we had a first hand view at what could have easily been a fashion show just for us. We began to, between ourselves, judge the girls dress and the guys tuxedos. Believe it or not the guys had on a wide variety of tuxedos. There were over 38 kids there that night. Wendell and I ate our dinner and got up to make our way out. As we were leaving I was stopped by one of two elderly ladies sitting together in a booth down from where we had been. They were very fashionable older ladies who appeared to be fairly wealthy. One of them began to speak, she said she just wanted to let me know I was more beautiful than any of those young girls in their prom dresses!!! Now my telling you this is not out of vanity. I am telling you this because I honestly felt, as soon as she began to speak that the Lord had put them there. I can't explain why and still don't fully understand it. I have NEVER felt this way with anyone before in my entire life. I just knew God had put them there and felt like I just couldn't let the conversation end with thank you and Wendell and I walking on, for some unknown reason I felt as if I needed to say something to keep the conversation going. So I said thank you, you have made my night. Then I began to tell them about my battle with cancer and loosing my hair and just now getting it back enough to get it cut and styled. They wanted to know about my cancer. After telling them a little bit about having oral cancer the other lady began to tell me how she is a widow but she has a gentleman Friend who had salivary gland cancer twenty years ago. I then told her that was what mine was ...salivary gland cancer. She said she just wanted me to know I was going to be alright. Her gentlemen friend was 80 something years old now and does just great. I don't know why I had the feeling these ladies were placed there and spoke to me out of some purpose of God. But I do. What are the chances two little old ladies would start up a conversation with me over such a rare cancer as salivary gland cancer? I have been reading the few blogs I can find of other oral cancer survivors every since I started my fight. So many of them have already passed on. One as early as last week and another one has done all he can do to fight it and now is blogging about how he is making it, knowing the cancer is taking over his body. Maybe I shouldn't read these blogs, but I can't help myself. Somehow it feels as if these people are my relatives in a way. Of course there are also those cancer survivors who have been in remission for several years now. Those are the ones I want to feel as if I have more in common with!!!

Anyway I just wanted to share those things with you....... My thinking on cancer and hair loss and side effects and God and vanity and little ladies and God speaking to us through others and what are the chances and salivary gland cancer and remission and living and dying and maybe just maybe angels unaware ...

1 comment:

Karen Crabtree said...

i thought you looked beautiful with no hair. You have a pretty shaped head!!! I understand what you are saying though.