There Is A Mess In There!!!!

For a week or more now, I had thought from time to time that I needed to "check my mouth", you know, look in it to see if anything weird is going on. I would always have these thoughts when it wasn't convenient. To look in my mouth I have to find my glasses, put on my glasses, search for a flashlight, and then look in my mouth!!!! I finally went through all the troublesome steps Wednesday, after thinking about it again and knowing it had been several weeks since I have looked. I really wasn't expecting to see what I saw!!! There is a mess in there!!!! I don't know what it is, but it scared me silly seeing it!!!! The complete left half of my mouth, from the roof on down, is covered in a red and white mess!!! It appears to be just under the lining. Needless to say, I checked my mouth repeatedly the rest of the day, hoping it would all go back to normal....but it didn't. Thursday, I called the ENT in Knoxville that I have seen a few times and luckily, or rather prayerfully, they had just had a cancellation and could work me in at 2:30. Wendell and I had planned to go to Knoxville anyway, so this worked out perfectly for us. They took me back almost immediately, which was a big relief when I was feeling so stressed, however, once back in the exam room we waited almost an hour for the doctor to come in. He asked why I was there and I explained the situation and how the sight of anything unusual can send me into a semi-panicked uncertainty!!! He was very understanding and immediately took a look. His response was..."Well, I'm not sure what it is but I don't think it is cancer. I've seen a lot of cancer. It's not cancer." It's amazing how a few words can make or break your feelings!!! He asked if it hurts, which it does not. He said he thought it might be thrush, (Which I have had plenty of times before, and hasn't looked exactly like this, and has always hurt). He took a swab, and wrote me a prescription to begin treating me for thrush. He said it would take a week to get the results from the swab. Nothing actually mattered after..."It's not cancer!!!" The medicine he prescribed is swish and swallow and a pill, I am suppose to take one a week for four weeks. I haven't seen any improvement yet but taking only one a week for four weeks, I am not sure how quickly I will see improvement. This, I know, is just one of the perks to having had cancer!!! Anything out of the ordinary, in my mouth, can send me into a panicked uncertainty. This is the second time, since finishing treatment two years ago, that I have faced this uncertainty. The last time we drove back to Nashville to be told the bone was showing through the gum!!! So far, nothing life threatening!!!LOL!!!!