There will be grace!!!

I guess all of us, at some point in our lives, have known someone diagnosed with cancer. Has anyone else out there ever wondered how you would ever be able to cope if that someone was you? I have. I always imagined I would just crawl in bed, curl up in a ball, and be lost in deep dark depression. But then it happened!!! It's me!!!! And an amazing thing began to happen. The AMAZING GRACE OF GOD!!!!!! So let me fill you in.....

I came down with a cold, cough, and very sore throat. I don't exactly remember when this began but I think it was sometime in October. Upon examining my throat, to see if I could view the source of my pain, I saw the ugliest lump I had ever saw!!! I thought it was probably strep or mono or something like that.. so... I just went on with my wonderful, hectic life. The sore throat went away fairly quickly but the lump didn't. So after much procrastination, on Dec. 1, I went to see my family doctor who after a quick look, (I wasn't even sure my mouth had time to open when his light flashed by) he walked out saying something about a swab. Well, I left his office that day with a diagnoses of irritation and with a splint on my arm!!!!!! So once again I went back to my wonderful, hectic life. Friends and family who were aware of the lump kept telling me I needed to go to another doctor. So I finally made an appointment with Dr. Sewall, an ear nose and throat specialist, and went to see him on Jan. 20,2009. As we sat in the exam room waiting to see the Doctor I just silently prayed that what ever we found out that day that the Lord would just give me Grace. I know that God is in control, If it is His will that I go through this, then all I ask is for Him to give me the Grace to deal with it. When the Doctor came into the exam room he asked me what I was there for and I told him I have a lump in my mouth. With a little smile on his face, that said ok, another cold sore, I opened my mouth and he took a look. Then with a look on his face that confirmed, what inside my soul, I already knew, He asked if it hurt. Which by the way it does not. Well to make my long story a bit shorter he at first tried to compassionately ease my fears. He told me we would get a CT scan that day and a biopsy and we would get an ideal of what it was. After checking with the world's worst insurance co., which I pay a substantial amount in premiums to each month, It was determined the tests would have to wait 48 hrs. So we scheduled an appointment to return two days later. I can't explain really how I felt that day as Wendell and I drove home. I didn't feel like crawling into bed, curling up in a ball, and going into deep dark depression. God was already answering my prayer. I told Wendell that if this was the Lord's will for me, then I didn't need prayers for a miracle cure, if he prays for me, pray for me to receive his precious Grace to deal with this. I know the Lord has reasons far beyond what we may be able to understand, I may not understand why things happen but I know He is in control and If this is the road He is leading me down He never promised me a miracle cure, but He has promised His Grace will be sufficient. That is what I am standing on now. When we arrived for this next appointment we were informed that Dr. Sewall had a death in his family, and would not be in that day, but we could proceed with the CT scan but the biopsy would have to wait. So we scheduled an appointment for the next Wed. Jan. 28th. to have the biopsy. And His grace continued to be sufficient for me. On the 28th Dr Sewall reviewed the CT scan with us. He said there was definitely something there, a soft tissue mass. He performed the punch biopsy and said he would call me Friday Jan. 30th with the results. Most everyone that know me, know that patience is not one of my virtues!! But God's grace has been more than sufficient. So Friday I waited to hear the words I somehow already knew. It was Adenoid Carcinoma. I knew from my Internet research that this was probably the one that you would least hope for. Dr. Sewall, who is a very kind compassionate man, informed me that he had sent the pathology report to Vanderbilt for review, he should hear back from them by Tues. or Wed. and then we will make our game plan. So I continue to stand in the Grace of my precious Lord.