It seems like it has been a long time since I have blogged. I've thought of things I have wanted to say, but just haven't been able to find the time this week!!!!
I got up one day this week and got into the shower first thing as usual. While I was showering I was going over in my mind everything I had to get done within a few days...what order I was going to do them in... how I was going to accomplish everything....step by step... starting with as soon as I got out of the shower. I began to laugh and then cry as a thought crossed my mind...This is just what I use to do, daily, while showering!!!! The thought was... I have my life back!!!!
As far as my health goes, I have been doing great. I have energy to go and do things again. I have even started driving again after about 9 months. (Although my driving skills don't seem to be what they use to be!!! I don't know who gets more scared over my driving, me or Kiah.) My neck only turns about half the way it should, so backing is kind of difficult and scary!!!
I have my taste buds back and can taste what I can eat. This is a real blessing. The doctors had said after the radiation my taste buds could take years to return or I might not ever get them back. I still can't eat normally but my menu has lengthened. I still have to eat moist foods, dryer foods I can sometimes swallow a few bites but it is to much trouble to eat much. My throat muscles just don't contract like they should normally. I haven't had a hamburger since before my first surgery in March, but I have recently been able to swallow a few bites of pizza, enough to curtail the cravings!!! Soup is still a big portion of my menu but I can live with that. It's just hard sometimes because if we are out I can only eat at certain restaurants, mostly sit down ones where they have soups and potatoes. I can't just go to McDonalds, there is nothing there I can eat. (other than desserts of course.) But like I said I can live with this it's really not that big of a deal except when I'm wanting attention from Wendell or the girls, then I will muster up my whinniest voice and say, "It must be nice to be able to sit down and eat that bag of tortilla chips your eating :( !!!!hee hee. They know I just want attention and usually appease me.
My jaw still hurts, which concerns me sometimes, but the pain is not something to bad to deal with. My mouth will only open about a half inch to an inch. I am pretty deaf in my left ear, which rings constantly, but it's something I have become use to and can ignore most of the time. My face and neck on the left side is still numb, which makes my mouth look crooked. All of these things are really just minor annoyances, nothing so dramatic I can't deal with them. I feel really good most of the time and feel as if I finally do have my life back. I feel so well that it makes thinking of my up and coming PET Scan a little scary. I can't imagine going backwards, by this I mean having to deal with more cancer any time soon. Please help me to pray that the Lord's will will be done, (with the PET Scan), and most of all that He will give me the grace to deal with what ever His will may be for my life. Without His precious grace I would have crumbled months and months ago.
My sister Kim gave my dad a surprise birthday party last night. It went really well. His birthday is December 25th, Christmas Day, and has always been pretty much overlooked because of all the Christmas festivities. My Aunt Sue was there from South Carolina. She has been fighting cancer for several years now. She and I were able to sit and talk quite a bit last night which I really enjoyed. It was good to listen to her, her perspectives on having cancer, her feelings and how she sees things. As a cancer patient, you can talk to people and most everyone is sympathetic and concerned and very, very kind, but talking to someone who actually knows how I feel, and has been there too, was very good for me. She is a very strong lady who has been through a lot and has handled it with God's grace. She and I had a lot of the same views on how we deal with our cancer. Although I wish she was not having to deal with cancer at all, it was so good to talk to her, she knows how I feel. Not only do we have the same views on our cancer but she too is a christian who has relied on the Lord's grace time and time again.
Well, I have a lot more to talk about but this post is already long so I guess I'll wait till next time.
I hope everyone that reads this is doing well and looking forward to a blessed Christmas.