Back In A Regular Room.

Yesterday, they removed the catheter and the drainage tube from Jean's body. They discharged her from the CVICU and put her back in a regular room. They are continually feeding her via a pump through her feeding tube. They have scheduled her to have a pace maker inserted, Thursday morning. After she gets the pace maker, if everything goes well, she may be discharged as early as two days later!!! Yesterday marked her two weeks of hospital stays. We miss knowing she is safe and well here on the mountain where she belongs. The girls and I miss hearing her peck on the door for a short visit, usually bringing something yummy with her!!!! If she had not been in the hospital when she had her heart attack, there is no doubt that she would no longer be with us. Once again the Lord has been faithful and good to our family!!! A lot of people complain and joke about their Mother-In-Law, I have truly been blessed with mine. She is such a good woman, always thinking of others. It is wonderful how the family have all came together to do what ever is necessary to help with her care. We do not want to leave her alone there without a family member with her. It would be unimaginable to think she would have been alone while having her heart attack, Sunday morning, Ashley was there with her and Wendell was on his way to relieve Ashley. If anything happens, it is at least a 50 minute drive for most of us, so we want her to have someone from the family there with her 24 hours a day. Wendell made a schedule and everyone has been more than willing, even happy, to be able to feel as if we are doing something to help with her care. To me, that is just a testament to what kind of Mother, Mother-In-Law, Grandmother, Aunt, Relative and Friend she has been to all of us!!!! She has lived far from the easiest of lives. She has been through so many things both emotional and physical and I marvel all the time over how she has came through it all with such a sweet pleasant attitude towards God, family, people, and life in general. I have wondered on many occasions what kind of person, with what kind of attitude, I would be, having gone through all she has experienced. The conclusion I am left with is not something I would ever be proud of. I have often wondered if bitterness would not have been the main emotion in my life.


I spent the night with Jean, Monday night, and became very ill after laying down to sleep at about 1:00 a.m. My bones had ached all day and the pain intensified after laying down and getting still. I became extremely sick to my stomach and felt like I was going to vomit, which I never actually did. I was running a fever around 103*, I have had so many fevers that I have became pretty good at estimating what my temperature is going to be prior to taking it!!! I was covered with three blankets, each doubled, and I was still freezing and was practically paralyzed from the weight of them all!!! I was so sick I just knew I was going to have to call Wendell and Kiah to come get and relieve me. I did not want to do that, I did not want Jean to know I was sick. Jean keeps saying how she hates being such a burden on all us kids. We try to assure her that "burdened" is the not an emotion we feel when thinking about her, but she still feels bad. Anyway, I was able to make it through the night. I was able to take my medicine at about 7:00 a.m. and felt a little better when Wendell and Becky arrived to relieve and drive me home. Wendell rode up with Becky so he could drive me home, once again he was having to care for me :( After arriving back home, I managed to straighten up the house, do a little laundry and book work, and then lie down for a nap. I was feeling ill again. I woke up very sick, running a fever of 100.4* and aching all over. I was also very sick to my stomach again. I have reached a point where I am unable to have a bowel movement without taking Phillips Milk Of Magnesia. I took three doses and read three magazines before gaining relief!!!Heehee!!! It sounds distasteful and even though I try to make lite of it, it is a horrific problem to have. I did a lot of crying and praying. I was able to sleep last night and even woke up fairly late this morning, but I was sick again. I now had diareah, unbearable cramping and was sweating profusely even though I was running a low grade fever of 99.6*. I can bearly get out of bed and walk in the mornings because my bones and joints are so stiff and achy. I have shed so many tears because I was so active and independent before the cancer changed my world. Now I am sick so often, fatigued all the time and very dependent on medication to even get out of bed in the mornings. I want so desperately to get to the bottom of the pain and fatigue. The medicine does a wonderful job in caring for the pain but the medicine wears off way before my next dose is due and so I am left feeling miserable for much of each day or if I take one pill more than prescribed, which I have done on many occasions, I am going to run out before time for my next refill. I feel as if by taking the medicine I am just masking the pain and not getting to the bottom of my problems. My doctor is trying to help me and has run tests trying to make sure he is not overlooking anything and has been left telling me my pain is neuropathic and the fever is from a sinus infection, the night sweats, I don't know? Anyway, I am now praying that the Lord will give the doctor wisdom and direction in finding the root of my problems and the direction of the treatment needed. I have even prayed if my symptoms need to be more frequent and prominent in order for my doctor to be able to see what is actually going on, that God will give me the grace I need to deal with it. It is so hard living in a body that fails to function properly. I really desire your prayers. And I thank you in advance!!!!