Sometimes it's good to have time at home alone. I woke up this morning to an empty house, everyone had already left to start there day with school or work. I was feeling a little down, wondering what I am going to do, knowing I am going to have to have the decision made rather quickly. To be honest with you the thought of having radiation on my mouth scares me. I don't think I would be quite as scared if it were on a different part of my body, the thought of having my mouth and tongue burned for six weeks straight scares me!!!! Not to mention the fact that I will probably finally get to experience the dreaded feeding tube!!!! As I was thinking on these things I also began to think of Bro. Jones's message yesterday. It was about dealing with thorns in our lives, how Paul had a thorn in his life that he had asked the Lord to remove. I have not asked the Lord to remove this from my life, not because I don't think He could, but because I have felt from the beginning that it was His will that I go through this. I still don't know all the "why's?" and I may never know, but I know He allowed this to come into my life for a purpose and so it has been my desire to trust Him. As I was home alone today, I began asking the Lord for guidance. I want to walk this path in the way He has designed for me to walk it. I can't say at this point I have the clear cut answer but what I can say is I have a renewed sense of peace. While thinking on these things the Lord brought a song to my heart, I may not have all the words correct but it was:
"Knowing that Your ways are always perfect, I will trust You and I will give You praise. And as I look forth to what ever awaits me, I just want to stop and say Thanks!!!"