Saturday, October 29, 2011

There Is A Mess In There!!!!

For a week or more now, I had thought from time to time that I needed to "check my mouth", you know, look in it to see if anything weird is going on. I would always have these thoughts when it wasn't convenient. To look in my mouth I have to find my glasses, put on my glasses, search for a flashlight, and then look in my mouth!!!! I finally went through all the troublesome steps Wednesday, after thinking about it again and knowing it had been several weeks since I have looked. I really wasn't expecting to see what I saw!!! There is a mess in there!!!! I don't know what it is, but it scared me silly seeing it!!!! The complete left half of my mouth, from the roof on down, is covered in a red and white mess!!! It appears to be just under the lining. Needless to say, I checked my mouth repeatedly the rest of the day, hoping it would all go back to normal....but it didn't. Thursday, I called the ENT in Knoxville that I have seen a few times and luckily, or rather prayerfully, they had just had a cancellation and could work me in at 2:30. Wendell and I had planned to go to Knoxville anyway, so this worked out perfectly for us. They took me back almost immediately, which was a big relief when I was feeling so stressed, however, once back in the exam room we waited almost an hour for the doctor to come in. He asked why I was there and I explained the situation and how the sight of anything unusual can send me into a semi-panicked uncertainty!!! He was very understanding and immediately took a look. His response was..."Well, I'm not sure what it is but I don't think it is cancer. I've seen a lot of cancer. It's not cancer." It's amazing how a few words can make or break your feelings!!! He asked if it hurts, which it does not. He said he thought it might be thrush, (Which I have had plenty of times before, and hasn't looked exactly like this, and has always hurt). He took a swab, and wrote me a prescription to begin treating me for thrush. He said it would take a week to get the results from the swab. Nothing actually mattered after..."It's not cancer!!!" The medicine he prescribed is swish and swallow and a pill, I am suppose to take one a week for four weeks. I haven't seen any improvement yet but taking only one a week for four weeks, I am not sure how quickly I will see improvement. This, I know, is just one of the perks to having had cancer!!! Anything out of the ordinary, in my mouth, can send me into a panicked uncertainty. This is the second time, since finishing treatment two years ago, that I have faced this uncertainty. The last time we drove back to Nashville to be told the bone was showing through the gum!!! So far, nothing life threatening!!!LOL!!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Our Hearts Are Broken, We Love You Gordon!!!

I want to begin today's post by sharing a little information about our family with those who may not know us personally. Wendell and I own the only business, a convenient store, gas station and deli, in our small rural town. It is not just a business to us, a way to earn a living and support our family, it is a huge part of our lives. From the time we opened the doors in 2003 our family started growing, not in the usual ways of marriages and births and such, but by getting to know the people in our community in a much more intimate way, like family. Wendell was raised here so he knew pretty much everyone for miles around already, but not in ways that having the store has evoked. Those, who under normal circumstances, were friendly acquaintances, have become like part of our family. There are many, many people, that we see every day as they stop by the store to pump their gas or get their tenderloin biscuit on their way to work. There are those that come in every day and sit at the counter as we prepare their food and talk. We share our thoughts and feelings with them and they share theirs with us. We have become like family to them and they to us. We worry when they don't show up as usually expected and call to make sure their ok. They bring their newborn babies in to meet us for the first time and we get the privilege of watching them grow. We giggle, laugh and rejoice together. We cry together. We pray for each other. We are so blessed to have the opportunity to be a part of so many peoples lives and to have them be a part of ours. We actually see and speak with people more often than their "real" families do in a lot of instances. We are blessed with an abundance of friends!!!!
We received a phone call Sunday evening that just sent us into shock. One of our precious friends left this life suddenly and so unexpectedly. Gordon Powers was found dead in his home by concerned friends, Sunday evening. He had not been feeling well and apparently was the victim of a heart attack. Wendell has known Gordon his whole life, the rest of our family got to know and love Gordon through the store. Gordon was sooo special to each member of our family. Stephanie, Jessica, Punky, Kiah, Wendell and I are all in shock and heartbroken at the loss of someone so loved by each one of us. Gordon loved our family and was such an inspiration to each one of us individually. He always had loving kind words of encouragement for us. We have each spent so much time talking to and sharing the joys or burdens of our hearts with him. He always found a way to lift our spirits and to make each one of us feel special. He was such an encouragement to my kids and I. He worried, and more importantly, Prayed for me constantly when I was sick. He made sure I knew he had his church praying for me. Gordon loved his church, the families, and especially the children. He loved his son and granddaughter. Gordon always came to every important event my kids would invite him to. He would always brag on Stephanie and her love for, and willingness to follow the direction, of the Lord. He loved to tease Punky and talk about how she was just like her daddy. He was like a surrogate father to Jess, giving her advice on love and men and supporting her in the things she is doing with her life. He always bragged on Kiah, and would lift her self confidence, telling her how beautiful she was. Walking in and seeing Gordon sitting at the counter was always a mood lifting experience for me!!! No matter what kind of day I would be having he would always make me laugh and just feel good. He would walk in the door at the store and holler "Well hello good looking!!!", addressing which ever one of us women he would see, to which Wendell would always holler back "Well hello Gordon!!!" Then Gordon would have to tell Wendell "I wasn't talking to you Stupid!!!" It was their routine, one that always made us laugh even though we had heard it a million times before!!! It is a routine that will be difficult to no longer get to hear.
There is no question in my heart of where Gordon has begun spending eternity. Gordon Loved the Lord. The fruits of the spirit were evident in the life Gordon lived. We feel so privileged to have had him for a friend. We will never forget his genuine love and kindness to our family and I. We will miss him so much. He has positively effected our lives. We will one day see him again, so until then ....We love you Gordon!!! Our hearts are broken by your sudden passing. There is definitely an un-fillable void left in our hearts and lives!!!!