This will probably be a long post or maybe one of two parts according to how long I last without getting too tired. Last Tuesday night I started feeling really congested and was scared I was coming down with what Wendell had. I knew if I did, I would not be able to make the trip to Nashville the next day. I prayed the Lord would help me to at least avoid it until after my trip. Wednesday morning I woke up feeling fine and was able to go and felt physically fine all day until driving up the mountain home. The Lord is good!!! He had answered my prayer, I was able to keep all my appointments!! As soon as I got home every bone in my body began aching.
I started running a fever, at times it was up to 102*, and by Thursday evening there was no Tylenol left in the house. (I was instructed to only take Tylenol until after surgery). By the time Wendell made the trip to town to get more I was literally in tears from the aching!! I have spent most of my time since Wed. night on the couch, sleeping and popping Tylenol. I began feeling a little better yesterday and spent some time on the internet. I went back to a blog I had been following only to discover that the writer, an oral cancer patient, would no longer be blogging.
I had a difficult time falling asleep last night. My head hit the pillow, and my mind started wondering.
I got up this morning to an empty house. Everyone had already left for Church. I was just kind of rambling to God as I went about straightening up, I was wishing I had had the strength to have went to Church, telling God, “I really need something from you today Lord.”
I came across a “Baptist Vision” magazine that had come in the mail. I just opened it up and started reading. It was an excerpt from a book, Clarence Sexton had wrote. It was talking about how Moses as a baby was placed in a basket, in the river, by his Mother and how she had to let go of the basket and trust God. Then when Pharaoh’s daughter took her divinely-directed walk that day she found the baby. Then Dr. Sexton writes, “And on top of that, the Lord pinched the baby, and he cried. As the tears came to his little eyes, her heart melted.”
As I was reading this the Lord was answering yet another one of my prayers, He was giving me something from Him today.
My biggest fear of this Cancer is to go through this with my eyes closed not seeing what it is the Lord desires for me to learn. It has crossed my mind that maybe this is chastisement, and I have prayed if it is for the Lord to let me know. I have not felt that to be the purpose, but have wondered, am I missing what I need to see? Reading this today has helped me to see the Lord caused the baby to cry, for a purpose. I don’t believe the Lord only “pinches” us to hurt or chastise us, but may “pinch” us for a bigger purpose. To set in motion his will for our life.
I will trust Him. Once again today, His grace is sufficient.